Yeesha’s Journal 09

Power is a gift. Power is a curse.

I learned of the fearsome power I wield on that day-the day of Calam’s death. In a fit of rage I destroyed the murder, and I destroyed my innocence.
And again I learned that most things cannot be returned to how they were.

And my power continues to grow even as I began to see that the prophecies of the Grower might speak of me. My destiny began to be fulfilled. But there was still more.

The least. Abused. Mistreated. Misunderstood. Ignored. They were mocked and scorned and their hearts still show their pain, but they continue to serve.

Such power they have, and yet they serve. The treated me with kindness, and I learned from them. They respected what I was becoming. With them I learned new laws, new rules, and new powers. I used those powers to care for a tree to come and the Tablet allowed me to grow beyond Ti’ana, beyond Father and Mother, beyond D’ni, beyond Calam.

The Tablet held them. The Tablet chained them.

The tablet held me. The tablet empowered me.

I watched with them. I waited with them. I learned with them. I called them from captivity and grew while they gathered. Together we became both weak and strong.

And then my time came. My time to take the Tablet. My time to choose. I was ready. I felt the pull of holding it, of channeling and releasing the full power of the Bahro. I would right the wrongs. I would set things the way they should be. I would choose well-I could not fail. I am the Grower.

I was so sure, so strong, so wise, but I didn’t open myself and listen to the Maker. The noise of me drowned his quiet voice.

And I failed. Failed to see anything beyond myself and what was obvious. And the pain came quickly, when I realized what I had done. The Tablet returned, and the Bahro continued to serve. The pain still burns me.

But the powerful Bahro simply wait and serve.

Pain is often how we learn.

But it is not for us to give-we are not the teachers. We must not abuse them. We must not abuse the Bahro.